Force of Nature

2 comments
family, pregnancy

FORCE OF NATURE

It is estimated that at least 80% of foetuses with Down’s syndrome are miscarried or stillborn. This figure could be even higher as most miscarriages are not analysed. I remember our genetic counsellor explaining how a pregnant mother’s body is like a spell checker that checks all the chromosomes are correct, and if not, nature takes it’s own course. She literally said how Seb had “slipped through the net”.

Of those foetuses that survive and are identified as having Down’s syndrome in utero, over 95% are (heartbreakingly) terminated. Seb having Down’s syndrome was not picked up during pregnancy, his measurements were considered “low risk” and *thankfully* I was blissfully unaware and never given any choices to make or pressured into making decisions. I will never, ever, ever stop being thankful for that….I cannot imagine my life without this gorgeous bundle of energy in it.

Seb really IS my little Force of Nature xx

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2 thoughts on “Force of Nature”

  1. Richard Williams says:

    Good morning Caroline,
    My twin sister sent your link to me as I also have a son with D.S and I fully understand your reasoning for thinking that way initially.
    My wife and I had problems conceiving when we planned for a family as we lost two pregnancies with a miscarriage and an inevitable termination at 5 months, so when we went into hospital for the birth of our first boy we were apprehensive, that is when Charlie was delivered he was immediately whisked away and the nursing staff explained that he needed to be checked over. I asked if everything was ok and they said it was fine and a normal procedure. After some time a young Chinese nurse came in and I asked if our baby was ok and she replied that there was nothing to worry about as he has got two arms, two legs and two eyes. I said I wanted to speak with someone who knew what was going on. After around 30 minutes a random nurse who I had not met came in and I asked her to be honest and up front with us, and she just told it to us as it was because Charlie had no defining features but they were checking him for D.S. When eventually someone came in that was not junior or made up embarrassing excuses and told us that Charlie had D.S I just broke down and turned to my wife and said what are we going to do. She held me and said that Charlie was our baby and we were going to love and look after him.
    After reading your story I can now understand how you felt because those initial days for me, I felt awkward when people came up asking if we had a boy or girl.
    I can honestly say that my wife looked on our baby through a child’s eyes.
    Charlie is now 18 years old he went to mainstream school attended Chicken Shed Theatre and is now studying BTec for performing arts at Chicken Shed. We also have another son Teddy 16.

    Many thanks for sharing your story with others.

    Regards
    Richard Williams

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    • Richard, thank you so much for taking the time to share your own experience. Those early days are such a shock for some of us. I have tk say, my husband never had an issue with the diagnosis. It was simon that snapped me out of it. He let me “grieve” but finally, one day, he said that if I wasn’t accepting how could I expect society to. He said “imagine the day Seb walks up to you and says “hello mum”” and with that i stopped seeing my baby as “downs syndrome” and saw him as my son. I would love Seb to go to chickenshed but we don’t have one locally! Thank you for taking the time to comment, so lovely to hear about others journeys! Best wishes, caroline x

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